The Old Man VS. The Young Buck
by El Raven
Part 1
In this series of articles I will be exploring old rivalries carried over from our former league and new ones that I am excited to see develop. There probably won’t be a ton of statistical facts because I don’t go to the old site, and I enjoy shooting from the hip to annoy Josh. No spreadsheets here sir. We will build up to what I consider the most intriguing rivalry, so we are starting at the bottom of the card. As with any good booker, some key intriguing rivalries will find themselves a little earlier than they feel they should be. Consider your placement outside of the top 4 rivalries as entertainment factor. If you are found in the top 4, well, that’s just how I see it.
#1-Opening Rivalry
Kansas City Curt VS. Super Decker (SD Chargers)-One on One scheduled for 12 rounds
I’ll open with this, love both these guys, and hope they go a combined 2-30. Yeaaaahhhhhh!
If any two veteran managers have something to prove it’s these two guys. KC and SD (formerly the factory of sadness) combined for a total of 9 wins last season after taking over as replacement owners of 8-8 teams. It was enough to make a Raven puke, and that’s not easy. Decker jumped from the AFC North into the West, a smart decision as smashing his face twice a year was a reality. After much deliberation, Curt decided not to take over his home town Rams and remain in the AFC with KC. This pleased and annoyed El Raven as he’s an active trade partner, but I hate his face and would like to see a steam roller back over it a few times.
What these two managers find is a lot of expectations considering they have a fresh slate to work with and two rookie managers taking over Oakland (now Washington) and Denver (now New England) where very solid GM’s resided last year. In other words, don’t fuck this up fellas.
No disrespect to the rookies, but there just isn’t the same pressure on them to step their game up like with these two guys. Decker dismantled a potential playoff contender for the promise of the future. Then the Cylons attacked, Caprica was nuked, and the survivors bolted aboard the Galactica in search of the IFL. We will never know what would have been. What I do know, is no matter how many times the Cylons attack, Decker always gets left behind. Probably to nail a Cylon skin job. Don’t know what I’m talking about? GFYF (you figure it out).
Curt kicked things off in KC by trading away the #1 overall, and then getting booted, getting reinstated, cutting then resigning Jamaal Charles at a higher rate, watching his star RB shred his knee on a non-contact play, and just drifting into obscurity. No one man has done so much damage in such a short amount of time while urinating on the league office steps. I respect the shit out of his commitment to destruction and snubbing of authority. If you’re going to model yourself after the real life Browns, jump in with both feet.
So what do each bring to the table to make it worthy of starting off this series? Aren’t train wrecks fun to watch? Are you the guy who goes to NASCAR for the “racing”?
Well for one both have shown the ability to identify young talent. Curt had a fantastic 2015 draft despite having his first pick at #25. He was able to pluck the rookie RB Karlos Williams in Buffalo late in the draft before a front office fax snafu incident saw Williams land in Miami.
Decker assembled what I considered the strongest team to rival for the AFC North heading into the 2016 season by stock piling picks and young talent. If that carries over to this new league he should be competitive out of the gate.
The question that arises is this: Can either of these two owners not shove their balls in the garbage disposal?
Good and bad decisions are made each year by all owners. But both of these GM’s made unforgivable moves in 2015 that cost them dearly. Make no mistake, neither has to look very hard to figure out which guy they need to circle and take out. My advice, empty beer bottle upside the others skull to confuse and blind your rival.
One of these guys needs to win the division. If one of the rookies were to win the west that would be considered a bone rattling hit that will shake the front offices of both of these franchises. The off-season is a time for negotiation, but eventually you have land some haymakers.
I want to give Curt a little motivation a la Rocky 6:
To beat this guy, you need speed, you don’t have it. Your brain can’t take the pounding, so hard analysis is out. You have arthritis in your neck, and calcium deposits on most of your joints so scouting is out. So what we’ll be calling on, is good old fashioned blunt force trauma. Horsepower. Heavy duty, cast iron, pile driving, draft and free agent pickups that will hurt so much they’ll rattle his ancestors. Every time you hit him with a shot, it’s gotta feel like he tried kissing the Express Train.
Now let’s start building some hurting bombs!
Next time: Rookie Battle Royal!