CLEVELAND BROWNS VS PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

This week it is a battle between the IFL Princess and the IFL Bully. Frankly, I have no idea why Tiffany is such a bully to everyone. To offer some love to Tiffany, I found a special guest speaker to make her feel good. I am pleased to welcome…

Rocky: Yo, I am glad to be here. This week the Monster Matchup is between Cleveland Kyle and Philadelphia Tiffany. I am warning Kyle right now if he talks any shit about Philadelphia, he is going to get a knuckle sandwich. Kyle: I will behave myself. I don’t want any trouble. Tiff: Go ahead and kick his ass Rocky. Rocky: Yo, Kyle. Why do you drive around and talk shit while you drive? Kyle: Rocky, I am really a big pussycat. I am very sensitive. My favorite movie is The Notebook. I want people to be afraid of me so I talk tough all the time. Tiff: Rocky, do you think Kyle reminds you more of Fred Flintstone or the famous character from Of Mice and Men who said “George Can I Pet The Rabbits”? Rocky: Tiff that is funny. Kyle, isn’t Tiffany so nice? She makes me laugh and just warms my heart. The only time I feel this warm and fuzzy inside is around Christmas. What do you think of her? Kyle: I agree with you Rocky that when I look at Tiffany, she does remind me of the Holidays, when she turns around, her rear end reminds me of two Giant Christmas Hams. (Rocky moves quickly toward Kyle in an aggressive manner. Kyle drops down in fetal/tornado drill position) Kyle: Please don’t hurt me. I am sorry. I am sorry. Rocky: I won’t hurt you, but you have to agree to throw in the towel against Tiffany this week. Will this threat actually make Kyle throw in the towel…..

QB: Kyle starts Goff and Tiff starts Brissett. Both QBs have easy matchups with Goff going against the Bucs. He should produce early, but if they get a lead look for them to run the ball. Brissett is going against the Raiders. I expect a closer game so Brissett should be consistent. Hilton’s health is questionable so the edge goes to…. ADVANTAGE: CLEVELAND.

RB/WR/TE: Kyle starts Boyd, Cooks, Cooper, and Hilton. Tiff starts Ekeler, Hyde, and Singletary. Boyd is solid with high floor. Cooks is stacked with Goff so that could be boom or bust. Cooper is really good with hig ceiling. Hilton is great start to offset Brissett if the Colts combo is hot. On Tiff’s side, I love Ekeler. With Gordon reporting, I expect Ekeler to try to explode this week. The Chargers will feed him the ball to make a “we don’t need you” point to Melvin Gordon. Hyde is average . Singletary is up and coming but still uncertain about his hamstring. ADVANTAGE: CLEVELAND

DT/DE: Kyle starts Donald, Chris Jones, Quinn, and Tuitt. Tiffany starts Ogunjobi, Hughes, and Burns. On paper Kyle’s DTs offer fire power by Donald has been relatively quiet this year. Chris Jones is awesome. Ogunjobi is quietly having a nice year. Hughes and Burns are more explosive than Quinn and Tuitt. ADVANTAGE: SLIGHT TO CLEVELAND.

LB: Kyle starts Baker, J Brown, and Okereke. Tiff starts Edmunds, Davis, P Smith, and Sweat. Baker is solid with high floor. J Brown is good but Falcons will be throwing alot so the tackles may not be there for him. Edmunds is a stuf but has not produced that great this year. Old Man Davis is great since he is old. Fuck everyone hear who makes fun of old people. P Smith and Sweat are rushers who could blow up anytime. ADVANTAGE: PHILADELPHIA BECAUSE I LOVE OLD PEOPLE.

S/CB: Kyle starts Carlton Davis, Gilmore, Byard, and V Bell. Tiffany starts Fuller, Fuller, Clinton Dix, and Swearinger. I think this is normally huge advantage for Tiffany. The Fuller Boys are some of the best tackling corners in football. Kyle Fuller may be limited this week because of the matchup with the Vikings and they don’t want to throw the ball. They may have to because nobody runs on the Bears. Clinton Dix plays close to the line of scrimmage so he should still be good. Swearinger is good tackling safety. Byard and V Bell are very solid but I don’t think they are as good as Tiffany’s.

When the dust settles, I think that Kyle has too much firepower. Tiffany has a young team that could surprise if her players explode. It will be a great game but I predict Kyle will win.