As I sit here writing this, I am already feeling disturbed because I know what is coming. It’s like a horrible car crash that you see coming before it actually happens. You know the kind. When a 1992 Mazda Miatta drifts over the center line and is going to run head on into an approaching semi. The only difference is the driver of the Miatta isn’t screaming in fear. The driver has his arms in the air yelling, “I am king of the world”. Then all of a sudden smash. The impact of the explosion cause the driver’s butt to be shoved up inside his head.

In Kyle’s case, his draft would have been better off, if his ass made his draft picks instead of his brains. Nobody will ever forget in 2019 when Kyle ran around the house on draft day bragging to anyone who would listen how drafting all defense would lead him to victory. In 2019 Kyle had 10 draft picks. 6 of the 10 picks were either in the 1st or 2nd round. To put his draft in perspective. None of his 10 picks scored more than 150 points. While I do understand that “Defense Wins Championships”. I also know the phase, “You Are Such A Dumbass”. Here we go:

1.14 – Germaine Pratt – LB – Bengals

Kyle’s Comments: Got the 3 best linebacker here. Pratt is gonna be a savage beast! Great success.

One time there were two hot girls who wanted to go to an all guy’s party. They wanted to drink, so they found an ugly girl friend to go just so she could be the designated driver. Kyle was at the party and hooked up with the designated driver. According to Kyle she was the 3rd best looking girl there. Kyle was correct. He found his “savage beast” for the night. One year later, that beast scored 133 points. Do you think Kyle regrets the night when he took the ugly one home? Pratt does have a chance to start next year, but you can’t fix ugly. THIS WAS NOT A GREAT PICK!

1.15 – Clelin Ferrell – DE – Raiders

Kyle’s Comments: Got the 2nd best DE. A great technician. Saw him get 2 sacks against the best OT in the country.

Please refer to my comments just above. Maybe I was mistaken. It was only one hot girl going to an all guys party and she brought an ugly friend. Either way, Ferrell scored 145 points for the year. Also consider 42 of those points came in one game. Ferrell wasn’t even the best DE rookie on the Raiders. Max Crosby, a pasty 4th round pick out of Eastern Michigan, kicked his ass this year. Do you think Kyle wishes he had this pick over? THIS WAS NOT A GOOD PICK!

2.06 – Dwayne Haskins – QB – Redskins

Kyle’s Comments: Very smart QB, true student of the game. I like my QB knowing more than yours does.

Do you think the players of Kyle’s team, wished that their owner knew more than the other owners of the IFL? How can I say this nicely… Haskins sucks! He scored 115 points. He doesn’t move well, he doesn’t see well, and he can’t react to defenses well. At Ohio State, he majored in football and grass cutting. If he was the franchise QB, the Redskins wouldn’t be talking to the 2020 rookie QBs. Perhaps you should forget about drafting offense and go back to defense. THIS WAS A HORRIBLE PICK.

2.07 – Brian Burns – DE – Panthers

Kyle’s Comments: Crazy quick explosiveness off the line of scrimmage. Double digit sack potential.

When Kyle was talking about double digit sack potential, I am not sure if he was referring to career numbers or not. Burns had 129 points in 2019. Burns started out strong and completely fizzled after the 5th game. I think Burns is better suited as OLB because of his size. He could be the next Leonard Floyd and get you 130 points every year. THIS WAS NOT A GREAT PICK.

2.08 – Johnathon Abram – S – Raiders

Kyle’s Comments: Best safety in the draft, classic box SS. He gonna eat.

Up to this point, I have been critical of Kyle’s choices. Abram got hurt in the first game and lost the year. He scored 11 points. I actually think Abram is going to be a stud. He talks a good game so he belongs on the IFL Cleveland Browns. Mike Mayock said on Friday that Abram’s is looking good and that they are really excited about him. If healthy, Abram’s is going to a top 5 safety in this league. THIS WAS A GOOD PICK.

2.16 – Bobby Okereke – LB – Colts

Kyle’s Comments: Pretty drunk at this point. Can’t tell you why I took Okereke here.

This was the most intelligent thing Kyle said the entire draft weekend. Okereke scored more points in 2019 than Kyle’s self procraimed superstar draft class. Okereke scored 150 points. Suggestion for Kyle’s 2020 draft: write all draft eligible players down on pieces of paper and draw them out of a hat. You couldn’t do any worse than 2019. Okereke finished the year strong, even with Darius Leonard back. THIS WAS A GOOD PICK AND KYLE DIDN’T KNOW WHY HE DID IT.

3.03 – Sione Takitaki – LB – Browns

Kyle’s Comment: Still blind from fucking Nate. Stealing Thornhill from me… Cleveland will never forget.

What the hell? Sorry, I read it wrong. It actually says.

Kyle’s Comment: Still blind sided from fucking Nate stealing Thornhill from me. Cleveland will never forget.

I was going to say, did you guys at least offer Kyle and Nate some privacy. Did he go blind from the climax? Anyway, Takitaki scored 37 points and rarely saw the field. Biggest question is will Takitaki have a chance to replace Schobert in the middle or does Cleveland replace him with veteran of rookie? This is lottery ticket right now that could pay off over the next season. THIS WILL EITHER BE A GREAT PICK OR A TOTAL BUST.

3.16 – Marquis Blair – S – Seahawks

Kyle’s Comment: Even more drunk here.

Blair scored 64 points on the year and played sparingly on 3rd downs. I was surprises that Kyle passed on Mack Wilson LB for the Browns who was drafted a few picks later to Miami Brad. Wilson scored 177 points which surpassed all of Kyle’s 10 draft picks. Blair’s stats will improve if he is able to crack the starting lineup. THIS WASN’T A BAD PICK.

5.08 – Chauncy Gardner Johnson – S – Saints

Kyle’s Comments: No Comment.

Kyle must have been passed out somewhere lying in his own feces. Johnson scored 134 points which wasn’t bad for a 5th round pick. This guy came on strong at the end of the year scoring 20 points each his final two games. THIS WAS A GOOD PICK.

7.15 – Sean Murphy Bunting – CB – Buccaneers

Kyle’s Comments: None

I think Kyle had no idea what he was doing. He was simply looking to pick up guys with 3 names. You could argue that Kyle’s last two picks were his best. Bunting is a CB on a bad defense that is great against the run. Teams passed on the Bucs all year. The last two games Bunting scored over 20 points. He finished with 143 points on the year. THIS WAS A GREAT PICK IN THE 7TH ROUND.

Overall, Kyle went into 2019 with 6 picks in the first two rounds. He did not draft well. I think he had a plan to just take the best defensive players available. Unfortunately, after Bosa and the two Devin’s, this was a very weak defensive class.