We are fresh off of New York Cory winning the IFL Super Bowl. It is that time to look back on our 2021 IFL Draft. Back then everyone had hopes and dreams of finding the next Justin Herbert or Justin Jefferson. Each year I want someone to say in the comments, “I have no fucking idea what I am doing. This person I am drafting is so good. I am so smart for picking him.” Instead, each year Kyle thinks he has drafted the next Ray Lewis or Tiff thinks she has grabbed the second coming of Deion Sanders.
In the past I have focused on the AFC. I do appreciate all of the cross over content that owners like Barry and Luke do on the AFC. I also appreciate how Flod can turn me on with his steamy fables. Therefore, I am changing it up this year. Each week I will be discussing the NFC round by round and then the AFC round by round. After each round, I will award either the AFC or NFC with the best pick of that round. I am starting at the bottom. As I get near the early rounds, I will spend more time going over each pick. Lets get started…
NFC 7th Round Draft Picks
7.16 – Carolina Nils selected John Bates TE – WFT – 76.72 Points.
Nil’s Comments: I like this player because I use Bates as a short for masturbates and his name makes me think “John Masturbates” and that makes me laugh.
If the thought of a sexual act gives you a clear mind so be it, because this was a great pick for the last pick in the draft. Bates took advantage of the injuries ahead of him and with some massaging, he rose to the occasion. This was a great pick.
7.15 – Chicago Nic selects Cameron Sample DE – Bengals – 51.70 Points
Nic’s Comments: Talented player. Shouldn’t fall that much. Might take a couple years for him to see regular snaps
I have no idea how Nic knew that this guy had good balance. By claiming that “he shouldn’t fall that much”, Nic demonstrated his expertise as a dancer. It must have been all that time he spent on Broadway. For the 2nd to last pick in the draft, Sample saw action in several games. He recorded 1.5 sacks on year. Overall, this was a good pick.
7.14 – Philly Tiff selects Ian Book – QB – Saints – 1.15 Points
Tiff’s Comments: None
I am disappointed that there were no comments here. We all saw how bad Book was in his one NFL start. Based on that game, I am wondering how the hell did he get 1.15 points. Perhaps you automatically get 2 points for walking through the tunnel. This was not a good pick.
7.13 – Chicago Nic selects Jacoby Stevens – S – Eagles – 2 Points
Nic’s Comments: None
This poor fellow didn’t do anything all year. He finally got one special teams tackle during week 17 to earn 2 points. Too bad it didn’t count because Nic was knocked out of the playoffs by then.
7.12 – New Orleans Titus selects Benjamin St. Juste – CB – WFT – 59 Points
Titus’s Comments: None
It looked like something was erased so I asked Jai to see if he could recover the comments. Titus wrote “It makes my stomach nauseous to think of this beautiful Frenchman on any team other than New Orleans. I would love for him to enter my French Quarter.”
This turned out to be a good pick. He played in the first 8 games and then he disappeared for the rest of the year. As a 3rd round selection, he should be able to stay in the league for a couple of years. Not horrible for a 7th rounder.
7.11 – Arizona Jai selects Chauncy Golston DE – DAL – 98.7 Points
Jai’s Comments: Nothing
Very disappointed in the person who according to Matt can let out a horrifying war cry that can cause a camel to drop over dead. Anybody with a first name of Chauncy certainly shouldn’t be playing football. He should be sitting down for an afternoon of tea, instead. However, Golston scored 98.7 points. He rotated through on the Cowboy Dline and made at least a tackle or an assist in basically every games. This was a decent pick.
7.10 – Detroit Nate selects Gary Brightwell – RB – Giants – 19.90 Points
Nate’s Comments: None
Brightwell managed 4 yards per carry in his 1st season and 6 yards per reception. These are very respectable numbers. The only drawback is that he only had one rushing attempt and 1 target on the year. Not many people can say they caught all of their targets in the NFL. This was not a good pick.
7.09 – Atlanta Floyd selects Milton Williams – T – Eagles – 107.3 Points
Floyd’s Comments: Nothing
Like I alluded to in the beginning of this article. I would have expected the comments from Floyd to be, “As Milton turned the light off, I felt his large hands slowly move down my man girdle.” or something like that. Anyway Williams had a nice year. He rotated on the Eagle line and steadily improved as the season went on. As a 7th round pick, Floyd found a potential starter at the DT spot.
7.08 – Tampa Luke selects Jamar Johnson – S – Broncos – 0 Points
Luke’s Comments: Crazy draft season. I fluctuated from over 20 picks in January to just 9 when it was all set in stone. Coming back and reestablishing a strategy on building this team has been a fun challenge and one with a whole lotta lessons. Onto the pick… Jamar is an intriguing player, albeit in a scheme that doesn’t produce high-scoring safeties. An injury to Kareem Jackson sends Johnson into a starting role more than likely. He could also be the starter this time next year if he balls out during practices, preseason and displays more talent than the other Broncos’ 5th round pick, Caden Sterns.
Luke, you rock with the comments. I am impressed. However, the 0 Points from Mr Johnson allows me to see inside your head…”I have had too much to drink. I have no idea who this is. His name is bad ass. Perhaps I can talk in circles and everyone in the IFL will think I am a genius”. This was not a good pick, but you still rock!
7.07 – Philly Tiff selects Josh Johnson – RB – Seahawks – 0 Points
Tiff’s Comments: Nothing
What are the odds of a Josh Johnson and Jamar Johnson being selected back to back in the 7th round an neither of them scored a point all year. In the IFL, it must be pretty good. This was not a good pick.
7.06 – San Francisco Vic selects Asante Samuel – CB – Chargers – 115.3 Points
Vic’s Comments: This guy is a stud!
Vic nailed this pick. The 7th round is perfect for finding that rookie CB that gets picked on. Samuel scored 115 points and he missed a few games. This was a great pick.
7.05 – Tampa Luke selects Tylan Wallace – WR – Ravens – 29.75 Points
Luke’s Comments: Love love love Tylan and had he gone to literally any other team, he doesn’t fall to the 7th round. Baltimore has been a black hole for receivers since Lamar entered town and there’s simply not enough opportunity for multiple weapons to thrive. Tylan’s talent is worth betting on in the 7th round, but I don’t expect him to be any sort of startable unless something unforeseen happens with their offensive scheme and receivers ahead of him on the depth chart.
Once again, Luke kills it with the comments. In this case, he was spot on. Raven’s are not a good place for receivers unless your last name is Brown, Andrews, or Bateman. Wallace was fantastic at Oklahoma State but he is simply too slow and too small to be an NFL player. This was a lottery ticket that did not pan out. This was not a good pick.
7.04 – Chicago Nic selects Pressley Harvin – P – Steelers – 133.4 Points
Nic’s Comments: This kid is yuge. I want him on my squad. Thighs for days.
This comment is the old hang out in the bar with the ugly dude so you look more attractive. Anytime the Manatee talks about someone else being “yuge” something is going on. This was a decent pick for a couple of reasons. You get at least a back up punter on a nice contract. If Harvin ends up being a stud, you get your starter. Harvin ended up being the 20th ranked punter in the league.
I need to pause for a commercial. I have to pay the bills somehow. I am now an influencer. You should buy jeans.
7.03 – Carolina Nils selects Tyree Gillespee – S – Raiders – 12.50 Points
Nil’s Comments: Nothing
Gillespee was a non factor this year for the Raiders. He played in a couple of games and did very little with the opportunity. This was not a good pick.
7.02 – Chicago Nic selects Jaelon Darden – WR – Bucs – 50.40 Points
Nic’s Comments: Nothing
When Tom Brady is your quarterback and he has no history with you, you shouldn’t expect him to throw you the ball. In addition, Darden had several veterans in front of him. Despite all of this, the fact that Darden played in several games and was targeted once in over 8 games, that isn’t horrible for a rookie low round receiver. This was a pure lottery ticket that could still pay off in the future.
7.01 – Detroit Nate selects Stevie Scott – RB – Free Agent – O Points
Nate’s Comments: Nothing
Why would you ever draft a player named Stevie? The Stevie I know in history was one of the lead singers from Fleetwood Mac. Why doesn’t this guy go by Steve? Well Stevie was not drafted by anyone and he never made a team. I can’t believe how stupid all of the 32 NFL GM’s are by not choosing him. This was the worst pick of the 7th round.
Overall, I thought the NFC did a decent job at selecting players in the 7th round.