Rivalries Part 3: You Will Show Respect
by
El Raven
Tampa “TJ Hooker” Luke 
Atlanta “Charlie” Floyd
Prison Yard Fight-Rules-None
“The only thing I see from him (Floyd), is a 2-14 record with a lot of excuses at the end of the year.”
– Luke
Oh Really?…
Floyd any response?…
“Luke may be right about the 2-14 record. But it’s going to be great knowing that those 2 wins will come from the San Quintin ass pounding that I give him both time we play each other.”
– Floyd
Welcome to the yard, IFL. It’s a fight in the dirty high competitive NFC South for our 3rd match of the card. Sometimes, rivalries aren’t born. Sometimes it takes a little prodding, or a sentence of disrespect to turn a mid-card match into something worth watching. And what better to watch from a safe vantage point up in the tower.
It’s time to settle this in the yard…
On one side, the self proclaimed sheriff of the South, Tampa Bay “TJ Hooker” Luke. On the other, fresh meat, the flower, Atlanta “Charlie” Floyd. A guy we are pretty sure isn’t all there and could very well turn this brawl around on Hooker. Cops aren’t popular in prison.
When Luke said he saw zero rivals in his new NFC South cellmate, Floyd did what he had to: He went and purchased insurance. If you are going to survive, in prison, life, the IFL, you must have heavy hitters. Former rushing champion Adrian Peterson is exactly that. Throw in the silent assassin Emanuel Sanders, and Floyd’s starting six represent a gang that could wrestle control of the yard from Mr. Hooker. Bortles, Martin, Peterson, Fitz, Nelson, and your choice of ASJ/T. Coleman.
Luke has been blowing his man load all over his starting five for weeks now. Yes you read correctly, five. Where Floyd had viable options at the fifth non-quarterback position this is what Hooker brings: Luck, Brown, J. Jones, Gronk, Olsen, and…wait for it…Frank fucking Gore.
Yes, the current king of the yard boasts a murderous first five, but if he thinks he can start Shaw-shank’s Morgan Freeman with his woefully thin offense, and control the yard, I think Floyd’s team begs to differ. You can crawl through all the shit, sludge, and human filth you want, Hooker, no bar of soap and river bath can get that stink off you. The fact of the matter is even without injuries, bye weeks could have Hooker walking the green mile.
The issue here is not about talent. It’s about depth, and frankly a cursory look Hookers roster raises some concerns, and it’s not just offense. Gerald McCoy, the man crush is playing for Floyd. Gerald McCoy is not happy with Luke.
Let me paint a picture for you…
It’s late November, week 12, the sky is ominously dark and cloudy, some shit is about to go down. Somehow both teams have managed to hang on for an outside shot at a wild-card. Charlie has been eating cereal in his little Nazi hat because that’s what Charlie does. Hooker has been pacing the yard with his pig Becky, because he’s nervous. Luke can’t afford to finish behind the rookie, let alone miss the playoffs for a third consecutive year.
Both gangs eye each other from across the yard, it’s been building to this all season. The pure disrespect from Hooker, flashing his offensive weapons, smugness about him. Countered by the slightly insane aloofness that is Charlie, who managed to win over a good segment of the prison population with his unhinged attitude. The guards watch from the towers, this has to happen, they know it. Also, they are Dolphins, Ravens, and Chiefs because they just want to see some bloodshed.
Hooker makes the first move towards Charlie. Charlie’s gang stands up, oddly, Charlie doesn’t. He seems disinterested, carefree even. Luke’s gang is almost halfway across the yard with Hooker in the lead. So focused on the task at hand he doesn’t notice the figure approaching from his right.
Finally, Charlie turns his attention towards Luke, but actually its not Luke, its the figure wearing a green prison guard jacket, who gives the ever so slight nod. The guards in the watch towers, especially the laughing Raven, turn their backs.
Its over fast.
Julio’s ACL explodes as a tire iron smashes it, and Charlies gang pounces. A shocked Luke looks up, how did this happen?
Charlie turns to the prison guard, “Thanks Barry.”
“You know Luke,” Charlie says as he pulls out a scratch pad and writes “Pepe Silva” on it, “The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world he didn’t exist.”
