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IFL, Miami Brad

IFL Week 13: T-Day…

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It’s Thanksgiving week… the final week of the IFL regular season…20 teams play meaningful IFL football this week and all have a shot at the playoffs. There is football being played on Thursday…Friday…Sunday and Monday this week so the drama will be long and drawn out. I can not think of a more action packed week 13 ever with more potential shifting and sadness on the menu… Nearly every team that is playing for playoff hopes is also playing a team or two with the same hopes. Unprecedented.

Kudos to Jai on another great schedule this year. Special thanks to IFL Press Room for an assist or two with this production. If you have not clicked the notification bell on that channel, you are a doofus. That simple. Onward…

There are no byes week 13, so all teams are at the fullest possible strength (sans injuries and suspensions for “punching down”).  So many scenarios and outcomes, not going to spell them all out but will try to at least outline the storylines this week… I actually put all the numbers into AI to see if it could help give us a breakdown and it started smoking with how many possibilities there are, so we humans will do our best…

Continue reading IFL Week 13: T-Day… →
Hell Raven, IFL, Miami Brad

10/ 14 – The Taxi Claim Heard Round The World

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In one of the most dramatic (and hilarious) moments of the 2025 IFL season, the Miami Dolphins front office — led by GM Miami.DeepFkngValue — pulled off the unthinkable: winning the Tatum Bethune sweepstakes by a single, solitary nanosecond.

Read more: 10/ 14 – The Taxi Claim Heard Round The World

At exactly 1:00:00 p.m. MT, Miami swooped in and claimed linebacker Tatum Bethune from the Los Angeles Chargers in exchange for a 2026 sixth-round pick.
One split second later — 1:00:01 p.m. MT — the Baltimore Ravens’ GM, Balt.year.one.goraptorjesus (a.k.a. Baltimore Matt), filed the same claim, offering a much richer 2027 fourth-rounder.

Unfortunately for Matt, fantasy football is a cruel mistress with no sympathy for slow fingers.

The Fallout: Chaos Ensues

The league Slack immediately erupted.
Accusations of bots, timing conspiracies, and trade-diversion schemes filled the chat faster than waiver claims after a bye-week injury report.

“What bot is Miami using?”
“No bots here, just quicker than you, old man,” fired back Miami’s GM, punctuating the exchange with digital swagger that only a man with perfect Wi-Fi and impeccable timing could muster.

Meanwhile, other GMs chimed in like analysts on NFL RedZone Live:

  • “Josh forgot.”
  • “Titus ran diversion for sure.”
  • “Matt should have sent the 4th early.”

And perhaps the best comment of all:

“Listening to Matt whine though makes it worth it.”

One Second That Will Live in Infamy

The official league logs confirm it — 1:00:00 vs. 1:00:01 — a single tick of the clock separating triumph from tragedy. Miami walks away with Bethune and bragging rights, while Baltimore Matt walks away with… a lesson in punctuality.

When reached for comment (in Slack), Matt remained defiant:

“There were three other GMs and I knew this would happen.”

Miami’s response was immediate and lethal:

“So there’s four of you that are wrong?”

Ouch.

Final Word

In fantasy football, timing is everything — and in this case, one second separated a clean steal from a public roast.

Miami gets Bethune. Baltimore gets memes.
And the rest of the league gets to enjoy the sweet, sweet schadenfreude of watching Matt lose another player by a fraction of a second.

Miami 1 – Baltimore 0.
Final.

IFL

Carolina Panthers Amnesty 2023

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Balake has submitted his contract decisions and amnesty cuts. They are detailed below.

Five Amnesty Cuts – Total Saved: $9,664,952

  • Dawson Knox (salary adjustment) – $3,910,000
  • Deion Jones (salary adjustment) – $937,378
  • Tae Crowder (salary adjustment) – $1,265,000
  • Payton Turner (salary adjustment) – $808,160
  • Mac Jones (cut) – $2,744,414

Restructures

  • Rashaad Penny – 1 year
  • Foster Moreau – 1 year
  • Rashaan Evans – 1 year
  • Jaylen Watson – 1 year
  • Tayveon Williams – 1 year
  • Deshaun Watson – 1 year
  • Jaylon Smith – 1 year
  • Odell Beckham Jr. – 2 years
  • Terry McClaurin – 2 years
  • Tyler Higbee – 3 years
  • Mike Gesicki – 2 years
  • DJ Jones – 2 years
  • Bradley Chubb – 4 years
  • Dorance Armstrong – 2 years
  • Malcolm Koonce – 3 years
  • Keisean Nixon – 2 years
  • Xavien Howard – 2 years
  • DJ Reed – 2 years