Atlanta Floyd Presents:
Hot Atlanta Nights
Issue two: The One With the Interview
In this months issue of Hot Atlanta Nights I give a spoiler free review of my Luxe Bidet Neo 120 and I conduct the first in a series of league owner interviews with one of the IFL’s most controversial owners: Baltimore Matt.
What can I say about the Shit Bird that hasn’t already been said? Well not much because everything that has been said is worth repeating over and over. Matt was the person who recruited me to the IFL in hopes that I would be in his division. He figured that he would win at least two games this year by having me in the AFC North. Unfortunately like his hairline, this dream drastically receded when I joined the NFC South . Since he has come up short in many aspects of his life I felt obligated to call upon Matt to pop my interview cherry in this months issue…
Floyd: Thanks for taking the time out of your busy day of milling puppies to take part in my first interview.
Matt: Whhhhaaaatttt?
Floyd: Thanks for taking the time to do this interview.
Matt: Whhhhaaaatttt?
Floyd: Thanks for taking the time to do this interview.
Matt: YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Floyd: So how do you feel about the AFC North? Do you like your chances in the division and the conference?
Matt: Whhhhaaaatttt?
Floyd: Do you like your chances in the division and the conference?
Matt: Whhhhaaaatttt?
Floyd: Do you like your chances in the division and the conference?
Matt: YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Floyd: Very insightful. You have your first ever live RnT coming up in a week. Are you nervous? Are the hoards of dogs you have going to be apart of the show? And the question that is on most of the leagues mind, are you going to drink heavily before and during the show?
Matt: Whhhhaaaatttt?
Floyd: Are you ready for the live show?
Matt: Whhhhaaaatttt?
Floyd: Are you ready for the live show?
Matt: YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Floyd: Well I’m sure that it will go well. You called out the league a month or so ago about the lack of content that was being put out. Do you feel like that challenge is why there is much more content being published and that the quality is improving exponentially?
Matt: Well Floyd to be honest I didn’t expect the league to respond the way it did. You opened up with your first contribution that day which was a great way to answer the call. Then Curt through his hat into the presidential race, there was a great AFC North article by Brian out of Dallas, and Luke introduced his new show. On top of that the #1 rated live show in the IFL, and my personal favorite might I add, Educated Guesses put out their best show to date. Those guys really put in the effort and set the bar for what media should be in this league. So to answer your question, I think that my “call to arms” really made the difference but it is people like you and the aforementioned owners that really deserve the credit.
Floyd: I couldn’t agree more. Well I know your time is limited and would just like to thank you for taking the time to do this interview.
Matt: Whhhhaaaatttt?
Floyd: Thanks for the interview.
Matt: Whhhhaaaatttt?
Floyd: Thanks for the interview.
Matt: Whhhhaaaatttt?
Floyd: Thanks for the interview.
Matt: YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
With summer finally arriving some of us have to deal with issues related to the heat. These problems have many names: butt burn, swamp ass, ball soup. Whatever you choose to call it, it plagues myself and millions of men in the United States every year. But I have found the cure. I introduce to you the affordable Luxe Bidet Neo 120. This “self cleaning” and “fresh water” blessing from the gods is the answer to all of your ass chaffing man problems. For less than $40.00 and only 10 minutes of installation, this devise will change your life. Sure I was apprehensive at first, I didn’t want associate myself with those dirty French people, but this has been the best investment I have ever made. With five different pressure settings, though I haven’t made it past 1, it is the solution to the morning after Chipotle visit to the porcelain thrown. I use so little toilet paper now that it has practically paid for itself. The self cleaning feature keeps you from going wrist deep in Wades team, I mean excrement, when it comes time for that bi-yearly toilet cleaning. On a scale of 1 to 10 happy asses I to give the Luxe bidet a 10.
Happy Bideting