IFL DARKHORSE SERIES VOLUME II:
The Kansas Chittay Chiefs

          In order to be a part of this series you needed to meet a few criteria.  First, you could not be a playoff team from 2016.  This series focuses on teams that are in a position to make the leap to the playoffs in 2017.  Does that mean they will?  Who knows, all of you are way too volatile as owners for me to sit here on July 20th and say with definitive “yes” that you will.  That being said, the last time I did this all three teams did make the playoffs.

The second criteria is that you needed to be a team that would make at least one owner spit out their morning coffee and go “WTF!”  For this reason, Lewis, if your alive, if you read or enjoy any of the hard work that so many of us provide, swallow your teeth from the roundhouse KC Curt is about to give you. The only title your contending for in 2017 is first GM voted off the Island in 2018. You may now commence with the spitting.

I have to open this article with fuck Curt. I had an extremely hard time starting this article because he’s truly the one owner who WILL try and do just well enough to obtain the #1 overall draft pick year after year. In his way this is fun for him, but could be a waste of one of the more talented rosters in the AFC. I’d also like to say, for the record, fuck Curt.

Now that we have that established, a look at the 2016 Kansas City Chiefs reveal a maddening mix of bad line up calls, lack of action on the trade front, and mediocre waiver wire adds. He squandered a very obtainable playoff berth from a suspect division in the final week of the season due to being just smarter than a tomato. Curt will tell you that he’s happy with how things turned out. And if Myles Garret and Corey Davis are worth a playoff win over Kyle (who he would have faced) then so be it. But honestly, fuck Kyle right?

Curt made exactly two trades from April 2016 through the season. One to move back in the first round and gain a pick, and for a team offense mid-season. After reviewing his waiver adds, there just wasn’t anything special. A GM who wants to win would review this, circle it, and mark it for improvement. It’s clear that Curt knows his stuff, he’s tied for the league lead in UDFA linebackers with compressed spines that held out only to be dropped due to retirement and then come out of retirement. This is not an easy stat to own.

Curt’s team was incredibly streaky last year. This can be looked at one of two ways, frustrating or tantalizing. Frustrating because his team could never quite put it together. Or tantalizing because if they do? Look out AFC. Jay Ajayiiiiiiiiiiiiiii was a beast for a three week stretch where he went over 200 yards in each game. For a time it looked like he had struck gold with Will Fuller who posted two nice weeks in the first four before he remembered he couldn’t catch. No matter what week, most of Curt’s games were one line up decision away from being a win.

This issue was magnified at the franchise position. When I look at Curt’s roster, when any of us look at Curt’s roster, the first glaring thing we see is two starting QB’s for 23.5 million dollars. It seemed that no matter who Curt chose, it was the QB on the bench that went off. At some point, he’ll have to pull the trigger with a QB needy team and turn either Winston or Mariota into a stud on offense or defense. Depending on his timing he might be able to turn it into more. There is absolutely zero reason for him to continue down this path, and along with the aforementioned trades and waiver pick-ups is probably the one main contributor to his 7-9 2016 record. Curt needs to stop being a flip flopper, choose a franchise QB and to steal a line from the RONCO OVEN, “set it and forget it!”

The right starting five has the potential to be a steady force and includes: Ajayi, Lacy, Britt, Cobb, Davis, Stone Hands (I mean Fuller), Brate, Olsen, and Reed. Ajayi will be featured, Fat Eddie could be this year’s Murray at the goal line, and all three of those TE’s should be starting week 1. His wide receivers are a little more of a mixed bag, but if one or two can emerge in the first month of the season he’ll have adequate depth to navigate the bye weeks.

His draft class from 2016 includes LB envy poster boy Deion Jones who anchors his defense. Jones has 300 point potential for a cool 1.4 million. This is what every IFL GM wants. Throw in Sean Lee, Cameron Jordon, the rookie Garrett, and Keanu Neal, and he has some nice pieces on defense. There is a lot of potential behind that group to fill out his IDP needs, but he will need to move some of it to help with the constant guessing. The continuing theme of needing condense his choices for his sunflower seed brain can’t be overstated.

The biggest reason why Curt truly is a duckwhore, shit wait I’m sorry DARK HORSE (what he does with ducks is his own business) is his needed win improvement total. It’s two if you’re asking. It will not take ten wins to secure the AFC West. Lewis is only 4 starters deep, and his defense is highly suspect, Prendo is better than advertised but won’t be able to maintain for a season, and Decker is a youthful Ron Howard, a kid who just needs a smack.

If Curt can go just 4-2 in his division he’ll need to pull five wins from the following ten opponents:   Indy Erik (blows), Pittsburgh Spencer (blooooooooooows), Cleveland Kyle (up for termination), Green Barry (revenge game), Chicago Nic (floating Manatee), Buffalo Travis (legal team hobbit), Detroit Russell (captain hot take), Minnesota Wade (NFC’s Shitbird), and Baltimore Matt (well chalk up this one as a L). There are five wins there, but he’ll have to want it.

So do you want it Curt? Do you?

The IFL will benefit with Curt in the playoffs. I sincerely hope that he takes the West and we finally get a TMI with at least one jackoff that has elevated his game to the IFL playoff circle.