Atlanta Floyd Presents:
Hot Atlanta Nights

Issue Sixteen: The Rattled One

Some people go through life happy, cheerful, positive. Some people are just angry, hateful, rattled. We encounter both of these types of people on the daily. As one of the happier people, I strive to lift the spirits of the more half glass empty types. Sometimes I do this through the telling of stories. If I can bring joy to just one person a day, I feel fulfilled. Speaking of getting filled…

Larry struck out again. The Blue Oyster was the only bar in town that would allow Larry in the door. After years of imbibing on Jesus Juice, many of the other bars in the Castro had delt with more than enough of his personal… conduct. This was his last chance at finding love. He would settle for lust, since that had been alluding him since he was 19. Or maybe avoiding him since then. He was pretty repulsive.

Larry was not what you would call “conventionally” attractive. He was tall, but very emaciated. You’d think he hadn’t eaten a real meal in weeks. His red hair was thinning on top and his beard grew in splotches. He let off an odor that would remind you of Vieux Boulogne. Showers were something that, like intimacy, Larry abstained from. At least one was a choice. His clothes were something that the vampire Lestat would wear, albeit after rotting in a mansion alone for 200 years.

Larry was all too familiar with being alone. But he was determined to change that tonight. Even though he missed his chance with the patron at the bar, again, he had already lined something up on Chitender. Maybe tonight would be the night that someone could have standards so low, they would consider breaking the decade plus slump Larry was on.

Just as Larry was about to order another Aperol Schlitz, a warm breeze rushed by him from behind. Larry would flutter at anything warm behind him at this point. As he rotated in his bar stool to face the door, he was bewildered by the robust gentleman that walked in the door. The striking man walked right up to Larry with a confidence that he yearned for. The well proportioned man stood next to Larry, radiating god like features. A chiseled physique, jawline of Apollo, eyes so blue Larry thought he was looking to the heavens above. He was dressed in the finest Burberry suit with the finest Santoni shoes. Could this be the man that Larry was waiting for?

Larry’s voice trembled as he asked “are you Marf?”

The man replied in a deep booming yet southing tone “No, what is a Marf?”

Larry new it was to good to be true. This specimen of a man was well above his pay grade. He slumped forward in his seat, feeling rejected, even though this was not who he was here for.

“Can I buy you a drink while you wait for the Marf?” the man asked.

“Yes!” Larry exclaimed. “I’m having an Aperol Schlitz.”

“Sounds terrible.” The man responded insultingly. “The name’s Bloyd.”

Bloyd turned to the bartender as Larry introduced himself, clearly he was not paying attention or cared at what Larry had to say. As he ordered the drink for Larry, and ordered a double Macallan The Reach for himself, it was obvious Bloyd had little interest in Larry and his almost pig like appearance.

As the bartender placed the drinks in front of each of them, Bloyd turned to Larry and said “you look like a guy who could use some help.”

Larry was insulted that even this god of a man would ever insinuate something like that to a complete stranger.

“Why would you think I would need help from someone like you?” Larry accused.

Bloyd chuckled. “I mean it’s kind of obvious isn’t it? You are in shambles. You look like a guy who had the whole world at his fingertips and blew it. The signs of poor decisions are painted on your face. You clearly don’t know how to spend money on success, and you look like you are one sprained ankle away from collapse. If I were you, I’d take any help that is offered to you and drop the attitude.”

Larry was shocked that someone could so accurately describe what the last couple years of his life were like after a mere couple of minutes. But Larry didn’t care. “Actually I am here to meet someone that is going to turn my life around. So if you don’t mind, you can get lost.” Larry said with confidence.

“That someone is me.” Bloyd declared. “This is how I always start all of my rendezvous so I can decide if someone worth my time. And to be perfectly honest, you are not. Good day sir.”

Bloyd turned around and walked away from Larry and out the bar door just as quickly as he came in. The bartender came over and dropped the tab for the two drinks that Bloyd had ordered in front of Larry.

“$389 dollars!” Larry shouted. “I sell used e-bikes. I can’t afford that.”

At that point the bartender called out “DeeJay. We have another lowlife that thinks he can just walk out on his tab.”

The colossal bouncer marched over to Larry and grabbed the scrawny man by his shirt and took him out back to the alley. Larry loved going to the alley of bars, but not for this. As the bouncer pummeled his already wretched face, Larry though of what Bloyd said and if he had been a little more open to help, he wouldn’t be a few licks away from unconsciousness, when he could have been a few licks away from ecstasy.