It’s Thanksgiving week… the final week of the IFL regular season…20 teams play meaningful IFL football this week and all have a shot at the playoffs. There is football being played on Thursday…Friday…Sunday and Monday this week so the drama will be long and drawn out. I can not think of a more action packed week 13 ever with more potential shifting and sadness on the menu… Nearly every team that is playing for playoff hopes is also playing a team or two with the same hopes. Unprecedented.
Kudos to Jai on another great schedule this year. Special thanks to IFL Press Room for an assist or two with this production. If you have not clicked the notification bell on that channel, you are a doofus. That simple. Onward…
There are no byes week 13, so all teams are at the fullest possible strength (sans injuries and suspensions for “punching down”). So many scenarios and outcomes, not going to spell them all out but will try to at least outline the storylines this week… I actually put all the numbers into AI to see if it could help give us a breakdown and it started smoking with how many possibilities there are, so we humans will do our best…
(11-4)
(14-1)
Jason is a lock to win the AFC South. Plays TB and JAX this week, Luke is mostly locked in, while JAX is playing for his life. Jason needs to win both to finalize his placement in the top four seeds. 1st seed is possible if Jason wins both matchups, NE loses one and DEN loses both.
Luke has a comfortable lead and the favorite for the 1 seed/bye + the NFC South title, but Titus is within reach should Luke lose both games this week and Titus win both (WFT also has an outside shot of the 1 seed as well). The twist here is that one of Luke’s matchups is vs Flod who is on a winning streak of his own lately and is seeking to make a late season push.
(11-4) 
(8-7)
Lifetime H2H record is 13-6 and JAX won their matchup earlier this year. While Jason would like to win this game, he is locked into one of the top 4 seeds no matter what. This is a ‘pump or sport’ for Jason as he doesn’t view JAX as a real team or even Nate as a real person. He still believes Canadian Nate is the real Nate.
Nate on the other hand needs to win this AND one against Titus this week in order to solidify his second playoff appearance. Winless in the playoffs too mind you. The task at hand is gargantuan as he is tasked with beating two…two time SB champions the same week. GL
(8-7) 
(12-3)
As mentioned before, Nate is playing for the 7th seed and is in quite a pickle. Maybe he should have tried a little harder and beat the damn Chiefs week 9.
Titus is in a similar spot as Jason this week and while he has an unlikely path to the 1 seed, unlike Jason he does have division mate Carolina on his heels and needs to win both games to keep the 5 seed.
(12-3) 
(11-4)
This would be game of the week any other week, but turkey week is stuffed (big pun intended). Both franchises are previous SB winners which is always fun on paper.
Titus needs to win at least one of his matchups to maintain the five seed, as he has a sizable points lead over Balake. Not out of the woods by any means as JAX is good for about 3 good scores a year.
Balake needs a round of applause for how quickly he snapped this team out of its funk and turned it back into a contender. Range of outcomes here are somewhere between seeds 5/6/7. It will take two wins or two losses to potentially be moved from the six seed currently.
(8-7) 
(11-4)
Erik has been a pretty middling team this year despite being loaded with picks. Guy loves to stick to his plan which is fun, but what can’t be fun is living in a division with a guy who has been doing the direct opposite and crushing him forever. Anyhow Erik is a longshot for the 7 seed and needs to win both of his games and get some help for any hope (needs to score big + LV/JAX/CIN to all lose). The good news is that his other matchup is against the Texans so he should get an easy win which brings him to 9-7, but he will likely need to beat Carolina to have a real shot.
(12-3) 
(9-6)
Dan is locked into the NFC East Champ and the two seed with a very distant shot at the one seed. Basically he needs to win both his games and for Flod to go full “Flod the god”.
DJ is on shaky ground and needs to win both to secure his spot as there are two other 9-6 teams waiting in the wings. There is a world where DJ wins both, scores big, and Carolina loses both, scores not too big and DJ overtakes the 6 seed. For now he just needs to keep his head down and beat his division rival and the frazzled bird.
(6-9)
(9-6)
Ying and Yang records go H2H this week in another meaningful matchup. Raven is coming off a deflating loss to the chargers where there are allegations that he let too much air out of his own balls. While this matchup is meaningless to him it will be important to get back out there and figure out what his team is capable of as the 2.17 is on the line in the next few weeks.
This game is must win for DJ however. As mentioned before, he can’t let DET or SEA come for his spot. There are scenarios too where one of the two 9-6 teams currently sitting in division seeds above lose a game and fall down and land in the 7th seed spot. Both ARI and CHI are in the same ballpark as NYG points-wise so DJ really needs to win both his games this week.
(9-6)
(9-6)
Nate needs to beat the Bears and the Chiefs this week to have any shot as his points are not very impressive, so breaking ties is unlikely. The good news is… actually there is no good news.
Nic has a similarly tough path as he must beat the Lions and the Raiders. If Nic wins this game, he secures the division and one of the top four seeds. If he falters vs Detroit he still has a solid points lead, and none of the 9-6 teams have an easy path this week so he could get away with a wildcard as long as he still beats the raiders.
(9-6) 
(9-6)
Craig has no idea he is currently penciled into the seventh seed, and while the odds are good, the goods are unfortunately odd. He could climb a spot or even two if things get really weird.
Nic should beat Craig. Craig didn’t realize he was a contender and began selling at the deadline and now he finds himself bewildered disheveled and somehow the favorite for the seventh seed.
(7-8) 
(9-6)
Now for the lowest of the underdogs…… with the furthest shot at playoffs… the Chittay Dog if you will. Chit has two very winnable games this week against DET and LAC. He can finish 9-8 but would need LV to lose both, and JAX/IND to lose at least one… and then one of either CIN/CLE to lose at least one. The good news is that this is hell week and everyone has brutal matchups.
(11-4) 
(7-8)
Josh is already looking past the Chittay Dog and planning for week 14. I made some very benign comments about how this matchup was simply “interesting” and was immediately flamed by the unhinged GM of the Chargers. I just hope that Josh manages to take this one seriously, Chittay Dogs are bad for ones health and a choking hazard. Stay frosty and no I won’t put money on this game, gambling is not permitted in my state. Oh and Josh also plays the Vikings… 12-4 at best with a shot as high as 1 seed if everything goes his way.
Chittay Dog… you were built for this moment. Constructed primarily of lips and assholes… no one prefers you, but that doesn’t matter this week. You are cooking dinner, Chef Chittay and “The ChittayDog” is the only item on the menu. Stunt on em…chit… stunt on em…
(8-7) 
(6-9)
Danny is in a somewhat precarious position after losing this past weekend. As one of the three 8-7 teams fighting for the 7th seed… and with Craig sitting above him at 9-7… he will need to win both of his games.
Unfortunately for Danny, he has an angry bird to deal with. Raven’s next favorite thing to do aside from never giving up, is playing spoiler and this opportunity to knock out a division mate is just too sweet even though knocking out Danny could render aide to Kyle. I think we see Matt drop a big score this week just to send a message.
(8-7) 
(6-9)
Danny should win this game as Tiff is not fighting for anything… or is she…
Tiff you see, is what is called a “Bourbon buddy” to one, Cleveland Kyle… and Kyle sent out the bourbon signal because he needs some big help this week maintaining his hold on the AFC North.
(1-14) 
(8-7)
I put this one in for giggles… no way Spencer beats Kyle right? riiiiiiighhht?!?
(8-7) (12-4)
Even with a gimmie game vs PIT… Kyle reeeally needs this one just to be safe. With both he and Danny fighting for the division and maybe even the 7th seed as a consolation prize… this is a playoff game for Kyle.
(9-6) 
(9-6)
Will has his work cut out for him this week. It’s getting redundant typing that all these teams need to win both their games this week but that is a testament to how tight this race is and how wild week 13 is. Will is no different, he needs to beat both commissioners this week, so you can bet your bottom dollar that the IFL front office machine will never let that happen.
Arizona has to beat NYJ Cory and Will… Even if Jai loses to Cory… beating Will secures the division as he has a massive points lead.
(10-5)
(9-6)
The two always/sometimes playoff appearance teams meet again. The last meeting a few years during a marquee matchup back birthed the first IFL Matthew McConaughey call-in and Miami dominated the birds. This week should be no different. Miami is playing for the AFC east but needs some outside help, there is some potential to move up or down in the seeding as well if LV wins both his games, or Josh loses 1 or both. Miami is a lock for playoffs either way… for the 10th year straight.
Will needs this one more than Miami. Fighting an uphill battle, I predict pain.
(12-3)
(10-5)
Playing the IFL’s most charmed schedule, daisy chaining seller after seller with what had Mark looking like a lock for the one seed … but it all came crashing down with a loss to Erik this week. Now he is only one game up on Dave and Jason and this is the matchup that will likely decide his fate. Should he lose both his games this week, he could slip out of the division lead altogether and become a wildcard.
Miami has a history of utter dominance over the hapless pats. Another heartbreak is on the horizon for Mark.
(12-3) 
(6-9)
This game is another blessing for Mark as he should be able to eek out a win and keep hold of the division. Even so, he has some brutal week 14 byes so he desperately needs to win both games this week and keep the 1 seed.
(9-6) 
(11-4)
Craig has a serious shot here. He is going to feel every emotion in a few weeks when he realizes he in fact was in the playoffs and never set his lineup. What could have been if he held Kyle Pitts instead of gifting him to another playoff team… or was that a galaxy brain move to nuke Marf… only time will tell. No one seems to be able to kill Craig’s playoff hopes especially him… “Cockroach Craig” may be his new moniker.
Bonus: We get to hear from Brian on his pivotal signing of one last IDP gem on his way into the earth…
