This is a combined mock draft for both AFC and NFC. Miami is a man of the people, and won’t treat you NFC GMs like second class citizens like some other mock drafters do. Cheers mate!
1.01 – Saquon Barkley – RB (both)
ATL FLOD
Barkley will make Flod a contender overnight in the South. Viva La Flod!
NE MARF
This is a lateral move for Marf (Cook & 1.02 for Barkley), and we will see him continue to flounder against the unstoppable Miami Dolphins.
1.02 – Derrius Guice – RB / Ronald Jones – RB
SF JOSH.0
I believe Josh sticks to the script here. He has professed his love for Guice for a couple years now. Alex Smith is inept as fuck with that noodle arm and limited playbook, and the dumber Gruden brother is a running the show here. Reed renews his annual sideline seats, Crowder is bleh, Doctson is garbage. Guice should be the focal point of the offense early and often in 2018.
TENNESSEE JASON
I can see Jason taking Ronald Jones who is not necessarily the more talented back, but is entering the better situation with an offense full of weapons and no one else of note in the backfield. This is the pick I would personally make at 1.02 (no snake oil here). Plus Jason also already has Peyton Barber (RoJo’s handcuff).
1.03 – Rashaad Penny – RB (both)
PHILADELPHIA EAGLES
When Chris isn’t defending his slacktivity, he’s doing nefarious things with brioche buns and something called tartar, oh and overpaying old broken down ex-Seattle RBs. Chris desperately needs offensive weapons and money is no luxury. I think he plays it safe here and takes the RB of the future in Seattle.
JACKSONVILLE NATE (VINTAGE NATE)
Poor Nate has cap and a decent offense to start with, so he is in much better position than his 1.03 counterpart. With Tevin Coleman’s 1 year contract set to expire next year and CMC set to get his value nuked by DeMarco Murray’s inevitable signing; Nate signs the RB of the future. It should also be noted that he spent a high pick on CJ Prosise two years ago, so he may tell Sneaky Pete to go fuck himself and instead take Guice here.
1.04 – Ronald Jones – RB / Derrius Guice – RB
The gruesome twosome who hold the 1.01 are back with the 1.04
ATLANTA FLOD
Flod pairs Saquon with RoJo and wins the draft. We should just see if we can get a discount by getting the IFL Trophy engraved with Flod’s name for the next 4 years. The takeover begins…
NE MARF
Marf does what he does best and drafts bench players that won’t help him.
1.05 – Roquan Smith – LB (Both)
WASHINGTON TIFFANY
Despite this team having been ghost ridden for the last year and a half, it is not in horrendous condition. There are enough pieces on offense (and some decent options in the upcoming TT auction) that I think Tiffany can afford to go defense here. LBs of Smith’s level are hard to come by and it is certainly a team need.
CINCINNATI DANNY
Danny needs everything. The good news is he has a decent amount of cap (there are answers in FA). I feel like this is the point in the draft where the RB options start to get a little murky. Danny solidifies one of his LB spots for years to come with the best LB in the draft.
1.06 – Tremaine Edmunds – LB (Both)
ARIZONA JAI
Jai needs all the things. I could see him trading back from this spot to pick up some more picks and a few vets to provide some instant production (I could see Nils moving up for DJ Moore). If he stays, I could see him taking a LB RB or WR here. Possibilities are DJ Moore, LVE, Edmunds, or Kerryon Johnson.
INDIANAPOLIS ERIK
The LB run continues. Indy butchered the transition tag auction by not rescinding the tag on Bowman and has definitely further tarnished his already tarnished legacy as a champion. Erik takes one of the top 2 IDP pieces at 1.06 to right the wrong.
1.07 – Nick Chubb – RB / Leighton Vander Esch – LB
CHICAGO NI
Nic lands another RB who may help fill in when Shady misses time (which is a lot).
HOUSTON DEAN
Dean played himself this offseason and he is trying his best to maintain composure from dealing himself back to back Ls in the tag auctions. The one thing he did correctly was not matching the 22m bid on Bobby Wagner, but then he overpaid to move up a few spots in the draft (another L). I don’t see him taking a Patriots RB as that is never wise. The other option is Kerryon which sounds like a RB for the birds. Instead he replaces Wagner with LVE (an expensive lesson). I could also see Dean taking DJ Moore here.
1.08 – DJ Moore – WR / Nick Chubb – RB
GREEN BARRY
Barry loves WRs. His problem? Dez is worthless and he is about to lose AJ Green to transition tags. DJ Moore will slide in and could produce fairly early.
NE MARF
Marf takes another RB here. His bench will be imposing.
1.09 – Kerryon Johnson -RB / Pick Skipped (clock expired)
DETROIT NATE
Nate could use a LB after trading away the astronomically priced Sean Lee. So I could see him taking LVE here. The lack of RB depth on this roster leads me to believe he will take Johnson and hope that he earns meaningful snaps sooner than later. I could also see Nate trade up to 1.05 with Jai (makes too much sense for both sides).
NEW YORK AARON
Pick Skipped (clock expired)
1.10 – Leighton Vander Esch – LB / Sony Michel – RB
LOS ANGELES ANDEES
Andy is a guy who enjoys overpaying LBs. I think it’s time to break the cycle with LVE. Plus, it gives him Sean Lee’s eventual replacement (even though he will trade LVE to Dallas before the end of the 2018 season).
INDIANAPOLIS ERIK
Erik once turned down a trade for Zeke which involved four 1sts (and for that we thank you). He stated “I will draft 4 Zekes” …well he gets one of his Zekes with Sony Michel.
1.11 – Bradley Chubb – DE / Kerryon Johnson – RB
DETROIT NATE
Nate is going to go hard for Calais Campbell, but it takes two DEs to win in the IFL. Bradley Chubb will offset the stupid amount of money Nate is about to offer for Campbell, and should make an impact early.
PITTSBURGH SPENCER
Spencer has been rebuilding this year, and after handing off his pick which turned into the 1.01… well I didn’t have anywhere to go from there but wanted to remind Spencer that he gave up the 1.01. Go watch Fully Torqued you fuckin jabroni.
1.12 – Trade up (DJ Moore) – WR / DJ Moore – WR
CAROLINA NILS
I fully expect Nils to take DJ Moore here. No questions asked. The thing I said earlier about Barry taking a WR is probably not true. He will take Bo Scarborough so they can get high and listen to Lil Pump together. Esketit? I’m old af
Indy gets his next Zeke Elliott in DJ Moore. FYF
The rest of you should turn in your picks. It gets ugly from here. To summarize… Maff takes 4 QBs in the 2nd, Kyle takes several TEs, and none of them pan out. Just like last year’s mock, I am at the point where I need to go get more booze… FYFs!